Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
