I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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