If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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