I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
