I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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