member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
