awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
