i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
