Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
