he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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