Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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