no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
