I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
