I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
