Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize