So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Drunk is a universal language darling
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