When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
