I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
