I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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