Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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