We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize