And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize