I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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