But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
