I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
