Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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