But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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