theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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