I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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