What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
