he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
