i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
