he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
