So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
my phone needs a breathalizer
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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