What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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