I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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