talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
