Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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