I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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