the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
