Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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