I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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