she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
