are you still at the devil's house?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
