it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
