she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
