I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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