last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
