I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
