i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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