went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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