Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize