The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize