i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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