Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
