they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
