The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
