You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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